Into the Future
“You’re not good enough”
“You’re not remarkable enough”
“What have you done that makes you any different from the rest of the faceless population?”
“You’re not special. you’re not extraordinary. you’re nothing”
“What strengths?”
“What good characteristics?”
“You’re stupid. You’re ugly. You’re a bitch”
“You’re a dime a dozen. There’s thousands more just like you”
“You’re not living a life. You’re only existing“
No one ever wants to end up alone and miserable. No one wants to be told they’re nothing. Everyone wants to be special, in one way or another.
On paper and in person,
i am nothing.
I’m trying. actually no, that’s a lie. I’m complaining. I’m stalling. I’m pretending. I need to get my act together and make something of myself.
So what if i screwed up with my grades?
So what if my scores aren’t good enough, not in the least?
So what if i don’t have any chance of getting two solid recommendations because i freaking moved schools and never kept in contact with my counselor?
So what if none of my electives have a pattern? Or that I stopped after spanish 3? Or that I haven’t done SHIT with my high school career? No clubs, no extracurriculars, no sports, nothing.
Oh right. It’s not so what. It’s my future, and I fucked it all up.
But that’s okay, because for right now i can still pretend, even possibly convince myself that
Hey, maybe i really am special.
Maybe.
Replaying
when you can’t un-see something. and it just keeps replaying over and over and over and over.
Wipe that frown off your face.
It’s been rough this past week, but i think i’m good now.
No more throwing pity parties for myself. I’m a big girl and i need to start acting like one.
One of the many secrets to happiness: Be happy for others. Period. no “oh i wish i had that too” or “wow my life sucks”, just be happy for them, and move on with your own life.
Easier said than done, but gotta work at it.
(via papirosn)
(Source: erichalvorsen, via veroverovero)
(Source: soulmess, via veroverovero)
(Source: octopustea, via graciewho)
(via ohlaloove)
